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A family member passed away with no will
- Thread starter alloy
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I have a brother who's kind of a ne'er-do-well.
We were talking about our sister who passed away recently and a comment he made about her estate kinda made me prick up my ears.
I didn't say anything to him about it but a few days later my wife and I went to see an attorney about having a will written. She has one already but I don't. We should get a draft of it this week, make changes as needed and have it finalized shortly.
A few weeks ago your comment above might have fallen on deaf ears with me.
But now I thank you for it, am taking action on it and advise others to do also.
Get an attorney, have the attorney set the daughter up as the executor and she will have full legal authority to deal with the bank accounts, retirement accounts, and assets together with the attorney.
I was the executor for my mother's estate. It wasn't that big of a deal and our attorney worked on retainer and was paid out of the estate. Not a % of the estate mind you, a flat fee.
The only hassle was when family members started bickering over mom's stuff. They got told to knock it the hell off!
I was the executor for my mother's estate. It wasn't that big of a deal and our attorney worked on retainer and was paid out of the estate. Not a % of the estate mind you, a flat fee.
The only hassle was when family members started bickering over mom's stuff. They got told to knock it the hell off!
First, I’m sorry for your step daughter’s loss. Regardless of circumstance loosing a loved one is difficult, and our systems for dealing with the aftermath leave a lot to be desired.
You are doing the right thing helping her through this, hopefully in the end she will take the opportunity to complete her education and make some investments or buy a home.
I went through this with my dad, I was successor trustee, and I can tell most anyone here that a will probably won’t be enough. At least in California estates with just a will still have to go through probate, and you do want to avoid that. Look into establishing a trust, pay the lawyer to do it if you have to, but make sure you look at some that are similar to what you need so you can avoid getting an overly complicated one. Your major assets all go into the trust (probably not machine tools, but real estate, investments and bank accounts).
Even when you do everything right it can still get messy for your heirs. My dad planned very well, 50/50 split between me and my sister, simple right? Well, she was living in his house with her kids, dog and boyfriend when he died. I could have put the house up for sale right then, and in some circumstances I might have had to. Fortunately we had the money to buy her out and pay the lawyer to negotiate with her until she finally got good advice and my nephew went off to college. I still have a good relationship with her but the process truly tested it.
IMHO, it’s best not to wait until you’re dead. Give whatever you want to give, to whoever you want to have it, while you’re still alive. Yes, it might mean more taxes, but in the end that will probably even out after appreciation/compound interest and not paying lawyers. You can work out arrangements with them and nobody will be able to challenge it since you’re still alive and can do what you want.
We are blessed that our only child is smart, educated and fully self sufficient. She would be fine without inheriting anything from us but I’m confident she will make the best of it when it finally ends up with her.
So, @alloy
Hang in there and do the best you can with the situation. Your step daughter hopefully will grow up some during this time and you and your wife’s guidance will be crucial. You have a caring community here to bounce things off, but do make sure the lawyer you get is one you can trust to involve the wife and you, as well as her daughter. Don’t expect that this will be quick or easy, but the best outcome will be a stronger bond between the three of you.
John
You are doing the right thing helping her through this, hopefully in the end she will take the opportunity to complete her education and make some investments or buy a home.
I went through this with my dad, I was successor trustee, and I can tell most anyone here that a will probably won’t be enough. At least in California estates with just a will still have to go through probate, and you do want to avoid that. Look into establishing a trust, pay the lawyer to do it if you have to, but make sure you look at some that are similar to what you need so you can avoid getting an overly complicated one. Your major assets all go into the trust (probably not machine tools, but real estate, investments and bank accounts).
Even when you do everything right it can still get messy for your heirs. My dad planned very well, 50/50 split between me and my sister, simple right? Well, she was living in his house with her kids, dog and boyfriend when he died. I could have put the house up for sale right then, and in some circumstances I might have had to. Fortunately we had the money to buy her out and pay the lawyer to negotiate with her until she finally got good advice and my nephew went off to college. I still have a good relationship with her but the process truly tested it.
IMHO, it’s best not to wait until you’re dead. Give whatever you want to give, to whoever you want to have it, while you’re still alive. Yes, it might mean more taxes, but in the end that will probably even out after appreciation/compound interest and not paying lawyers. You can work out arrangements with them and nobody will be able to challenge it since you’re still alive and can do what you want.
We are blessed that our only child is smart, educated and fully self sufficient. She would be fine without inheriting anything from us but I’m confident she will make the best of it when it finally ends up with her.
So, @alloy
Hang in there and do the best you can with the situation. Your step daughter hopefully will grow up some during this time and you and your wife’s guidance will be crucial. You have a caring community here to bounce things off, but do make sure the lawyer you get is one you can trust to involve the wife and you, as well as her daughter. Don’t expect that this will be quick or easy, but the best outcome will be a stronger bond between the three of you.
John
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The attorney is one that he has worked with in the past. The will forms came from his office, but as I said they never completed them. So out of respect we are most likely going with his attorney.
When my mother in law passed they used a different attorney and it was $3500. But she had a will.
I also found out there is a big difference in pricing for cremation. The funeral home in his town wanted $2500. The one up by us was $1120. Big difference. And the guy by us was very helpful. We made a good choice using him. He told us that 90% of funeral homes are owned by a big corporation.
Today im going to the bank and see if I can get the will I downloaded notarized.
Its simple, 100% goes to my wife.
Funny, I remember a meme from one of the machinist groups on Facebook that said
"I hope my wife doesn't sell my tools for what I told her I paid for them"
For me thats the part that scares me. Who will tell her honestly what they are worth? An auction company? She will probably have to use one, I've got 50 years of stuff I've gathered and several classic cars.
When my mother in law passed they used a different attorney and it was $3500. But she had a will.
I also found out there is a big difference in pricing for cremation. The funeral home in his town wanted $2500. The one up by us was $1120. Big difference. And the guy by us was very helpful. We made a good choice using him. He told us that 90% of funeral homes are owned by a big corporation.
Today im going to the bank and see if I can get the will I downloaded notarized.
Its simple, 100% goes to my wife.
Funny, I remember a meme from one of the machinist groups on Facebook that said
"I hope my wife doesn't sell my tools for what I told her I paid for them"
For me thats the part that scares me. Who will tell her honestly what they are worth? An auction company? She will probably have to use one, I've got 50 years of stuff I've gathered and several classic cars.
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Don't forget the backup beneficiary (ies), in case, God forbid, your wife should "beat you to the punch".
My wife (not legally, but in reality) kept urging me to make provisions.
My attorney friend set up a trust in exchange for an old generator I didn't need.
It was sure nice to get that done. Peace in the house AND peace of mind.
I don't have anyone else as a backup. My wife drives truck so not the safest profession, and soon she will be in a fuel transport which is even higher risk. But with higher risk comes higher rewards and she accepts that. We both have accepted that.
I did come up with a way to make payments on his loan. The bank will not release ANY info about who the loan is from, but i can set up something called an estate account and have it pay the loan payments. That would keep it from defaulting and going into foreclosure. So it looks like if it takes a year to settle all this I'll be out $10k. And hopefully i will get it back at some point.
I did come up with a way to make payments on his loan. The bank will not release ANY info about who the loan is from, but i can set up something called an estate account and have it pay the loan payments. That would keep it from defaulting and going into foreclosure. So it looks like if it takes a year to settle all this I'll be out $10k. And hopefully i will get it back at some point.
sorry for OP situation that stinks. For anyone wanting to avoid this I’d say The thing to do BEFORE you die is either create a transfer on death deed or title real estate into revocable living trust. Bank, investment accounts and retirement accounts just designate beneficiaries / or do a transfer on death designations. TOD is great except caveat that doesn’t do anything to prevent spendthrift children from blowing it all or losing thru divorce etc.
Trust you can specify who, how much, when and all that good stuff. Wills IMO are really just for personal effects and unless you like dealing with lawyers and probate courts I’d skip it.
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Trust you can specify who, how much, when and all that good stuff. Wills IMO are really just for personal effects and unless you like dealing with lawyers and probate courts I’d skip it.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
In the United states, the rules of inheritance, without a will, are fairly cut and dried.
To sum them up, everything he owned now belongs to his offspring as he was no longer married. If the daughter is the only offspring, she inherits it all.
If the daughter passes up the inheritance then the brother is entitled to it all unless there are more siblings and then they split it evenly.
To sum them up, everything he owned now belongs to his offspring as he was no longer married. If the daughter is the only offspring, she inherits it all.
If the daughter passes up the inheritance then the brother is entitled to it all unless there are more siblings and then they split it evenly.