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I recently had to choose a new primary care doctor.
After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, she said I was doing fairly well for my age. (I am past seventy).

A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking her, 'Do you think I'll live to be 85?'
She asked, 'Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer, wine or hard liquor?'
'Oh no,' I replied. 'I'm not doing drugs, either!'
Then she asked, 'Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?'
'I said, 'Not much... My former doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy!'
'Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, boating, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?'
'No, I don't,' I said.
She asked, 'Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?'
'No,' I said ...
She looked at me and said, 'Then, why do you even give a darn?
 
Eat healthy, avoid red meat, caffiene and alcohol, don't smoke, cut down on dairy and sweets, get lots of exercise, early to bed and early to rise.

You won't live any longer but it'll sure seem that way...
 
Eat healthy, avoid red meat, caffeine and alcohol, don't smoke, cut down on dairy and sweets, get lots of exercise, early to bed and early to rise.
Then get hit by a truck. :angel::eek:
 
A brunette is standing on a busy street corner, clapping her hands together, and chanting "87, 87,87" A blonde walks up, and asks "What are you doing?" The brunette answers, "O, this is great fun, you have got to try it!" So the blonde tries it for a while, then says "Gee, I don't know.... I am not having much fun." So the brunette says, "Step down off the curb a little, maybe its better there." Just then, a bus comes by and hits the blonde!
"88, 88, 88"
 
So, the big day finally arrives, and the wedding is about to begin. Grandpa gets his grandson off to the side, and says "Son, today you have a big decision to make." The groom replies, "Gee, Grandpa, I already decided to marry her. What could be bigger than that?" Grandpa says "Today you must decide if you want to be HAPPY, or RIGHT."
 
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