A family member passed away with no will

When it's done you will be able to look at yourself and know you did what was needed. It may be hard but you know what you need to do.

Hang in there.

John
 
Yes it gas been hard. My wife and I handled the cremation, paid for the attorney, the $1000 for the dumpsters, did numerous critical repairs, spent 2 full weekends hauling junk out, set up realtors. Each time it was a 120 mile round trip.

Maybe its my old school mentality, but the second I had access to the bank account id have been on the road to me to pay me back.

Its been 3 weeks now and no money back.

Yes i did the right thing for my family. It remains to be seen if she will do the same.
 
"Maybe its my old school mentality, but the second I had access to the bank account id have been on the road to me to pay me back."

Shouldn't you be saying that to her?
 
Yes, but I'm trying to not cause a family riff. I haven't seen her in person for a couple of weeks. But the last time I saw her she had access to the bank account. That's when the 6 of us were hauling out the trash.
 
My brother died last week after 30 days in the icu on continuous dialysis. He was declining more with every passing day so ultimately his niece and I made the very tough decision to put him on "comfort care" and he passed within 15 minutes. He wanted his body left to science which was an easy process, going to a local medical college. He left no will and his house, barns and yard are loaded with crap we'll need to dispose of at some point. Had he left a will, we could proceed with the clean-up now, knowing we'd have funds to start. Unfortunately, everything is in limbo so no dumpsters, scrappers or hired help to make it happen. Reminds me, I need to make out my own will asap.
 
People spend an awful lot of time trying to figure out what will or won't hurt someone else's feelings. If you have an honest discussion with her about it, no matter what the outcome you'll know where you stand. She's young and probably has never been in a position to help someone out like you are for her.

If it turns out that she just figures you are rich enough to not care about the money you've laid out then you can politely decline to help further, you've already done more than you had to.

I don't know what other family members might have something to say about it but if you want to talk with them then go ahead, but really this sounds like something between you and the daughter.

The only family member that really matters here is your wife, best to do what she says....

John
 
IIUC, the heir is your wife's daughter, so your step daughter. Is that correct?
 

Choiliefan,​

I'm sorry for your loss. I'm an only child, I can't even imagine what you are going through.
Yes my wife's daughter.
Well I think she knows I'm not rich. I do own a decent place and a few big boy toys, My wife works full-time. I'm retired because of a stroke.
I'm not sure if the other family members know that I bankrolled all this. And yes, I'll do what my wife thinks best.

I don't have to live with her daughter, but happy wife, happy life as the old saying goes. I don't want to lose the money, but it won't break me if I did.
 
Then let your wife write the checks. Maybe that will open some eyes.
I don't do financial favors for people who have money of their own.

I'm also a mean old bitter bastard so take that with a grain of salt.
 
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