2017 Archive

Status
Not open for further replies.
The Talking Centipede


A single guy decided life would be more fun if he had a pet. So he went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy an unusual pet.

After some discussion, he finally bought a talking centipede,
which came in a little white box to use for his house.

He took the box back home, found a good spot for the box, and decided he would start off by taking his new pet to the pub for a drink with him.

So he asked the centipede in the box, "Would you like to go
down the pub with me today? We will have a good time."

But there was no answer from his new pet..

This bothered him a bit, but he waited a few minutes and then asked again, "How about going down the pub with me ?"

But again, there was no answer from his new friend and pet.
So he waited a few minutes more, thinking about the situation.

The guy decided to invite the centipede one last time.

This time he put his face up against the centipede's box and shouted, "HEY, IN THERE! WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO TO THE PUB WITH ME?"

.....
This time, a little voice came out of the box, "I heard you the first time!

I'm putting my shoes on!"
 
This morning I was beaten up by a woman.
I was in an elevator when this beautiful, busty woman got in.
I was staring at her boobs, when she said, "Would you please press 1?"

I don't remember much after that, I wish women would be more clear on
what they want!
 
pubs-bars-bar-pub-joke-pope-rabbis-lfin476_low.jpg
 
T.B. "I hate my job!"

T.P. " Seriously?"
 
Whenever you get on a commercial airplane you should always take a bomb on board with you...'cause what are the odds of there being two bombs on the same plane????
R
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top