2018 Archive

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Reminder.

I know the jokes themselves are OK, but we need to be more restrictive on the language that is used, Please.
 
Randy first let me say that if I ever was to apply to be a moderator for this great forum, you would have been my mentor.

While I think I understand your comment on being a tad more restrictive on language, prior to that I was also wondering about the "Alzheimers" joke. I am sure that with our ageing population we may have members here that are in the initial stages of dementia or similar. Obviously we would never joke about another person's / members condition.

It just seems to me that today there are so many ways that someone can feel "offended", that it is difficult sometimes for us with good intentions, to navigate and balance the PC tight rope.

Thank you for the gentle reminder.

David
 
Old Mud - - been there, done that, and have the scars to remind me to NEVER do it again!
 
While I think I understand your comment on being a tad more restrictive on language, prior to that I was also wondering about the "Alzheimers" joke. I am sure that with our ageing population we may have members here that are in the initial stages of dementia or similar. Obviously we would never joke about another person's / members condition.
Lately I am getting poor at recalling names and also some common words. I make up for it by singing this song by The Who:
(1971)
I have changed the lyrics from "going mobile" to "going senile." No matter how bad things get, at some point we have to be able to laugh at ourselves and accept things just the way they are. There is still plenty of good life left in us old dogs, even with some undeniable flaws...
"Keep me movin..."
 
The boss wondered why one of his most valued employees was absent but had not phoned in sick. So he dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whisper.

"Hello ?"
"Is your daddy home?"

"Yes, he's out in the garden", whispered the small voice.
"May I talk with him?"

The child whispered, "No." ;
So the boss asked, "Well, is your Mommy there?"
"Yes, she's out in the garden too."
The boss asked; "May I talk with her?"
Again the small voice whispered, "No."

Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, "Is anybody else there?"
"Yes," whispered the child, "a policeman..."

Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?"

"No, he's busy," whispered the child.
"Busy doing what?"
"Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the police dog men."

Growing more worried as he heard a loud noise in the background, the boss asked, "What is that noise?"
"It's a helicopter" answered the whispering voice.

"What is going on there?" demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive...
"The search team just landed a helicopter".

"A search team?'" said the boss. "What are they searching for?"

Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle....


"ME"
 
One afternoon a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass.

He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.

He asked one man, “Why are you eating grass ?”

“We don’t have any money for food,” the poor man replied. “We have to eat grass.”

“Well then, you can come with me to my house and I’ll feed you,” the lawyer said.

“But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there eating grass under that tree.”

“Bring them along,” the lawyer replied.

Turning to the second poor man he stated, “You may come with us, also.”

The other man, in a pitiful voice, then said, “But sir, I also have a wife and six children with me!”

“Bring them all as well,” the lawyer answered.

They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine.

Once under way, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said, “Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you.”

The lawyer replied, “Glad to do it. You’ll really love my place. The grass is almost a foot high.”
 
A woman is laying in the delivery room and starts yelling out "wouldn't, couldn't, shouldn't, can't."
Doctor what's wrong with me!
Doctor replies "Don't worry - they're only contractions."
 
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