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So, my wife is a Blonde, and told me more blonde jokes than I can remember....but these are all-time favorites of HERS

How can you tell if a blonde has been using the computer? White-out on the screen.
What do you call three blondes sitting on a park bench? Wind tunnel.
Why do blondes always wear pony tails? Hides the valve stem
 
My brother-in-law's dad was a big shot lawyer in Kansas, years ago, so I save these jokes for him-

What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 75? Your Honor
What do you call a busload of lawyers on the bottom of the ocean? A good start
What do you call 3 lawyers buried up to their noses in cow poo? Not enough cow poo

I realize there may be more than a few lawyers that belong to this forum. In fact, some may be moderators, or even owners:eek 2:
Rest assured, these jokes were not about YOU:cautious:

Perhaps I should upgrade my account soon......
 
Jane and Arlene are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. Jane pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking.
Arlene: What in the **** is that?
Jane: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.
Arlene: Where did you get it?
Jane: You can get them at any pharmacy.
The next day, Arlene hobbles herself into the local pharmacy and
announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.
The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is, after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what size, texture, brand of condom she prefers.
'Doesn't matter Sonny, as long as it fits on a Camel.'
The pharmacist fainted. :eek 2: :grin:
 
I went on a tour of a rubber goods factory. The tour guide first brought us to a machine making baby bottle nipples. He asked us to listen to the machine, which was going thud, psss, thud, psss, thud psss. He said "Do you hear the "thud" followed by the "psss"? The thud is the nipple being formed, and the psss is the nipple being pierced."
Then he took us to another machine which was going thud, thud, thud, thud. psss, thud, thud, thud, thud psss. He told us it was a condom making machine, and said it works just like the other machine. One of the other people on the tour asked "Did you say this machine works just like the other one?" And the tour guide said "Yes, they are the same model machine." The person said doesn't that mean that every fifth condom is being pierced?" "Yes", the tour guide responded. "That is how we keep the nipple machine in full time production!"
 
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