2018 Archive

Status
Not open for further replies.
A woman ran out of one of her prescriptions, so she hurried to the pharmacy to get the medication, but when she got back to her car she found that she had locked her keys inside.

The woman found an old rusty coat hanger left on the ground. She looked at it and said: "I don't know how to use this."

She bowed her head and asked God to send her some HELP.

Within 5 minutes a beat-up old motorcycle pulled up, driven by a bearded man who was wearing an old biker skull rag. He got off of his cycle and asked if he could help.

She said: "Yes, my daughter is sick. I've locked my keys in my car and I must get home. Please, can you use this hanger to unlock my car?"

He said, "Sure." He walked over to the car, and in less than a minute, the car was open.

She hugged the man and through her tears said: "Thank You, God, for sending me such a very nice man."

The man heard her little prayer and replied: "Lady, I am NOT a nice man. I just got out of prison yesterday; I was in prison for car theft."

The woman hugged the man again, sobbing, "Oh, thank you, God! You even sent me a Professional!"

Is GOD great or what!?
 
Two guys grow up together but after college one moves to Michigan , the other to Florida . They agree to meet every ten years in Vero Beach to play golf
At age 30, they finish their round of golf and go to lunch.
"Where you wanna go?"
"Hooters."
"Why?"
"Well, you know, they got the broads, with the big racks, and the tight shorts, and the legs ..."
"OK."
Ten years later at age 40 they meet and play again.
"Where you wanna go?"
"Hooters.
"Why?"
"Well, you know, they got cold beer and the big screen TVs and everybody has a little action on the games."
"OK."
Ten years later at age 50 they meet and play again."Where you wanna go?"
"Hooters."
"Why?"
"The food is pretty good and there is plenty of parking."
"OK."
At age 60 they meet and play again.
"Where you wanna go?"
"Hooters."
"Why?"
"Wings are half price”
"OK"
At age 70 they meet and play again.
"Where you wanna go?"
"Hooters."
"Why?"
"They have 6 handicapped spaces right by the door."
"OK."
At age 80 they meet and play again.
"Where you wanna go?
"Hooters."
"Why?"
"We've never been there before."
 
New way to save money for the prison system.

Prisons state they do rehab to make the cons better people...

Saw this product today...seems a spray of this should do it...
9eb86860699521931ab6cca607dd4a1b.jpg


Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G930A using Tapatalk
 
I have kleptomania,
but when it gets bad I take something for it.

FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS!
Except that one where you're naked in church.

Kinky is using a feather.
Perverted is using the whole chicken.

Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!

A bartender is just a pharmacist
with a limited inventory.

I am a Nobody.
Nobody is Perfect.
Therefore I am Perfect.

Money isn't everything,
but it sure keeps the kids in touch.

Red meat is not bad for you
Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.

Corduroy pillows are making headlines!

I LOVE COOKING WITH WINE
Sometimes I even put it in the food
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top