2019 Archive

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Kinda odd, if I go to this jokes thread first, then when I read other forums I keep looking for a punch line.
 
A JFK conspiracy theorist died and went to heaven. When he arrived at the
Pearly Gates, God was there to receive him. “Welcome. You are permitted to
ask me one question, which I will answer truthfully.”

Without hesitating, the conspiracy theorist asked, “Who really shot Kennedy?”


God replied, “Lee Harvey Oswald shot him from sixth floor of the Texas
School Book Depository. There were no accomplices. He acted alone.”


The conspiracy theorist paused, thought to himself, and then said, “****!
This goes higher up than I thought…”
 
A JFK conspiracy theorist died and went to heaven. When he arrived at the
Pearly Gates, God was there to receive him. “Welcome. You are permitted to
ask me one question, which I will answer truthfully.”

Without hesitating, the conspiracy theorist asked, “Who really shot Kennedy?”


God replied, “Lee Harvey Oswald shot him from sixth floor of the Texas
School Book Depository. There were no accomplices. He acted alone.”


The conspiracy theorist paused, thought to himself, and then said, “****!
This goes higher up than I thought…”

That's a conspiracy theorist for you. Will not ever listen to an authoritative answer
 
Barry returned from a doctor's visit one day and told his wife, Carolyn that the doctor said he only had 24 hours to live.

Wiping away her tears, he asked her to make love with him.

Of course she agreed and they made passionate love.

Six hours later, Barry went to her again, and said, 'Honey, now I only have 18 hours left to live maybe we could make love again?'

Carolyn agreed and again they made love.

Later, Barry was getting into bed when he realized he now had only eight hours of life left.

He touched Carolyn's shoulder and said,
'Honey? Please? Just one more time before I die.'

She agreed, then afterward she rolled over and fell asleep.

Barry, however, heard the clock ticking in his head, and he tossed and turned until he was down to only four more hours.

He tapped his wife on the shoulder to wake her up. 'Honey, I only have four hours left! Could we...?'

His wife sat up abruptly, turned to him and said,

'Listen Barry, I'm not being funny......but I have to get up in the morning and you don't.
 
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