Today's Jokes 2026

[savarin]

I dont know why but short people with umbrellas always catch my eye!

 

[davek181]

 

[Inferno]

You've been eating too many of those hot-house raised, shelf ripened, all weight - no flavor tomatoes from the grocery store, haven't you? Real tomatoes are the perfect complement to a big stack of bacon. Still a little too much lettuce on "E"... (lettuce is just to keep the tomatoe juices from making your bread soggy...).

GsT

No, allergic.

 

[NCjeeper]

 

[NCjeeper]

 

[finsruskw]

I hope someone has 911 on their dial!!
Un freaking believable

 

[RaisedByWolves]

I hope someone has 911 on their dial!!
Un freaking believable

Personally, I’m rooting for Darwin here.

 

[verbotenwhisky]

 

[NCjeeper]

 

[Dhal22]

You've been eating too many of those hot-house raised, shelf ripened, all weight - no flavor tomatoes from the grocery store, haven't you? Real tomatoes are the perfect complement to a big stack of bacon. Still a little too much lettuce on "E"... (lettuce is just to keep the tomatoe juices from making your bread soggy...).

GsT

CORRECT!!!!!