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- May 7, 2023
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So my day started off rough with the coffee and getting a late start. This put me in a mood and I tried to press on but was saved by a phone call from a local farmer I help out now and again.
Farmer Doug, (I call him that because he's a dairy farmer and his name is Doug) needed a block off plate made for his Johnny Deere tractor. This plate was to close off a hole left when he removed something farmerish I don't quite understand from the tractor, and lost the part somewhere in the barn and now cant find it to fix it. He wanted a simple plate to fill the hole where an oily rag now lives keeping the dirt and manure out.
So I took some dimensions and was about to depart when I heard Doug yell "DONT PET THE COWS!!!!!" at someone's kids who were visiting the farm. Best to my knowledge this was a church group on an outing to show the kids how big rats can grow (He has rats the size of a Volkswagen) and where milk comes from. Doug told me years back that 15-20% of his yearly silage allotment gets eaten by vermin.
He has silage bunkers 100' long and 30' wide too numerous to count, so that's a lot of fat rats.
When I got back with his part we put it on with some gasket maker and got to talking farm stuff. Naturally I asked him about petting the cows and why he was so harsh with the kids.
He says I have full permission to pet the cows anytime I like and he just didn't want the kids clothes to get dirty, seemed plausible so I thought nothing of it. He told me to feed them some hay or straw or whatever weeds he had and I took him up on it as I was leaving.
I had noticed he was on the porch watching me as I gathered up a handful of tasty treats and walked over to the fence with the cows eagerly crowding in. Now Doug being an old farmboy has a kinda strange sense of humor, good guy overall but I think he's been kicked in the head a bit.
Well, there's something I didn't know about keeping cows.......The top wire is electrified. Only the top wire. This keeps the dogs and other short animals mostly safe, but also keeps the cows from bumping the wire and getting a jolt on top of their head browsing on the tall grass along the fence line. Cows arent real smart to begin with and electro shock will certainly do them no good.
So I wander over and I'm feeding the cows some grass and pulling dandelions for them and everything is going swell....
Until I tried to actually pet the cow!
With the top wire being lectrafied and me wearing my lectrically rated boots....
I was fairly well insulated from being shocked by the fence, that was until I touched the cow.
When I first touched the cow my arm was above the top wire and things were fine. As I stood there marveling at just how far a cow can stuff its tongue up its nose while I was scratching its head my underarm touched the wire and both me and the cow rode the lightening.
I honestly felt like I was shot in the armpit and hand, and the poor cow just looked at me with this hurt look after she regained her composure like I had betrayed her somehow.
Then on the days breeze (Its called Breezy Vale farm) I could hear some stifled laughter just as the front door of Doug's house closed.
So yeah, don't pet the cows.
Farmer Doug, (I call him that because he's a dairy farmer and his name is Doug) needed a block off plate made for his Johnny Deere tractor. This plate was to close off a hole left when he removed something farmerish I don't quite understand from the tractor, and lost the part somewhere in the barn and now cant find it to fix it. He wanted a simple plate to fill the hole where an oily rag now lives keeping the dirt and manure out.
So I took some dimensions and was about to depart when I heard Doug yell "DONT PET THE COWS!!!!!" at someone's kids who were visiting the farm. Best to my knowledge this was a church group on an outing to show the kids how big rats can grow (He has rats the size of a Volkswagen) and where milk comes from. Doug told me years back that 15-20% of his yearly silage allotment gets eaten by vermin.
He has silage bunkers 100' long and 30' wide too numerous to count, so that's a lot of fat rats.
When I got back with his part we put it on with some gasket maker and got to talking farm stuff. Naturally I asked him about petting the cows and why he was so harsh with the kids.
He says I have full permission to pet the cows anytime I like and he just didn't want the kids clothes to get dirty, seemed plausible so I thought nothing of it. He told me to feed them some hay or straw or whatever weeds he had and I took him up on it as I was leaving.
I had noticed he was on the porch watching me as I gathered up a handful of tasty treats and walked over to the fence with the cows eagerly crowding in. Now Doug being an old farmboy has a kinda strange sense of humor, good guy overall but I think he's been kicked in the head a bit.
Well, there's something I didn't know about keeping cows.......The top wire is electrified. Only the top wire. This keeps the dogs and other short animals mostly safe, but also keeps the cows from bumping the wire and getting a jolt on top of their head browsing on the tall grass along the fence line. Cows arent real smart to begin with and electro shock will certainly do them no good.
So I wander over and I'm feeding the cows some grass and pulling dandelions for them and everything is going swell....
Until I tried to actually pet the cow!
With the top wire being lectrafied and me wearing my lectrically rated boots....
Reebok
Men's Rapid Response Rb Safety Toe 8" Stealth Boot with Side Zipper
I was fairly well insulated from being shocked by the fence, that was until I touched the cow.
When I first touched the cow my arm was above the top wire and things were fine. As I stood there marveling at just how far a cow can stuff its tongue up its nose while I was scratching its head my underarm touched the wire and both me and the cow rode the lightening.
I honestly felt like I was shot in the armpit and hand, and the poor cow just looked at me with this hurt look after she regained her composure like I had betrayed her somehow.
Then on the days breeze (Its called Breezy Vale farm) I could hear some stifled laughter just as the front door of Doug's house closed.
So yeah, don't pet the cows.
