- Joined
- May 12, 2014
- Messages
- 31
For engineers and programmers who always count starting at 0: There's 1 kinds of people in the world. Those who understand binary and those who don't.
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2017 Archive
- Thread starter Frank Ford
- Start date
- Status
- Joined
- Nov 23, 2013
- Messages
- 593
An older couple had a son, who was still living with them.
The parents were a little worried, as the son was still unable to decide about his future career.
So they decided to do a small test.
They put a note on the front hall table that they had left. Around the note they put a ten-dollar bill, a Bible, and a bottle of whiskey.
Then they hid, pretending they were not at home.
The father told his wife, “If our son takes the money, he will be a businessman, if he takes the Bible, he will be a pastor, but if he takes the bottle of whiskey, I’m afraid our son will be a no-good drunkard.”
So the parents hid in the nearby closet and waited nervously.
Peeping through the keyhole they saw their son arrive. The son read the note that they had left.
Then he took the ten-dollar bill, looked at it against the light, and slid it in his pocket.
After that, he took the Bible, flipped through it, and put it under his arm.
Finally, he grabbed the bottle, opened it, and took an appreciative whiff to be assured of the quality. Then he left for his room, carrying all three items.
The father slapped his forehead and said: “This is worse than I could ever have imagined!”
“What? asked the wife.
“Our son is going to be a politician!”
The parents were a little worried, as the son was still unable to decide about his future career.
So they decided to do a small test.
They put a note on the front hall table that they had left. Around the note they put a ten-dollar bill, a Bible, and a bottle of whiskey.
Then they hid, pretending they were not at home.
The father told his wife, “If our son takes the money, he will be a businessman, if he takes the Bible, he will be a pastor, but if he takes the bottle of whiskey, I’m afraid our son will be a no-good drunkard.”
So the parents hid in the nearby closet and waited nervously.
Peeping through the keyhole they saw their son arrive. The son read the note that they had left.
Then he took the ten-dollar bill, looked at it against the light, and slid it in his pocket.
After that, he took the Bible, flipped through it, and put it under his arm.
Finally, he grabbed the bottle, opened it, and took an appreciative whiff to be assured of the quality. Then he left for his room, carrying all three items.
The father slapped his forehead and said: “This is worse than I could ever have imagined!”
“What? asked the wife.
“Our son is going to be a politician!”
Life comes full circle and everything now to be considered good must be digital...
Communications is now mostly digital between the transducers (fancy words for microphone and speakers)
Things seem to process same...wired to wireless and communications same thing but it has gone sideways.
It started as wired digital then wireless digital but it still was slow and not reliable then analog came along and more folks could use it and it was indeed easier and clear to understand.
After many years step by step communications took baby steps to go back to digital and indeed it seems to be reliable and robust but nothing like the original digital form.
Back then it was a serial bit stream similar to what we have now but at a much lesser rate.
The a to d and d to a conversions were done by biological processors that did not need electricity but the transport did.
This hybrid system was left behind is it had an unacceptably slow conversion rate and error correction was difficult.
The encoding was pure digital on 2 fronts...one used their digits to operate the key to generate the "1" and "0" status of the transport as a binary bit stream to transmit a digitally generated bit stream that is later decoded by the receiver and converted back to the text that was handed to the sender.
So for those young folks who thing they have the new down....
"Texting" has been around for what 150 years or so as well as digital communications.
Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I337Z using Tapatalk
Communications is now mostly digital between the transducers (fancy words for microphone and speakers)
Things seem to process same...wired to wireless and communications same thing but it has gone sideways.
It started as wired digital then wireless digital but it still was slow and not reliable then analog came along and more folks could use it and it was indeed easier and clear to understand.
After many years step by step communications took baby steps to go back to digital and indeed it seems to be reliable and robust but nothing like the original digital form.
Back then it was a serial bit stream similar to what we have now but at a much lesser rate.
The a to d and d to a conversions were done by biological processors that did not need electricity but the transport did.
This hybrid system was left behind is it had an unacceptably slow conversion rate and error correction was difficult.
The encoding was pure digital on 2 fronts...one used their digits to operate the key to generate the "1" and "0" status of the transport as a binary bit stream to transmit a digitally generated bit stream that is later decoded by the receiver and converted back to the text that was handed to the sender.
So for those young folks who thing they have the new down....
"Texting" has been around for what 150 years or so as well as digital communications.
Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I337Z using Tapatalk
- Joined
- Aug 22, 2012
- Messages
- 4,121
I went to the zoo the other day. There was only a dog in it - it was a shihtzu.
"I asked the gym teacher if he could teach me to do the splits?' He said: 'How flexible are you?' I said: 'I can't make Tuesdays.'"
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one - and let the other off.
I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already.
A man walks into a bar with a roll of Tarmac under his arm and says: "A beer please... and another for the road."
Two fish in a tank. One says: "How do you drive this thing?"
My mother-inlaw fell down a wishing well yesterday. I was amazed, I didnt think they actually worked.
"I asked the gym teacher if he could teach me to do the splits?' He said: 'How flexible are you?' I said: 'I can't make Tuesdays.'"
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one - and let the other off.
I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already.
A man walks into a bar with a roll of Tarmac under his arm and says: "A beer please... and another for the road."
Two fish in a tank. One says: "How do you drive this thing?"
My mother-inlaw fell down a wishing well yesterday. I was amazed, I didnt think they actually worked.
- Joined
- Apr 12, 2011
- Messages
- 3,478
A husband got his mother-in-law a cemetery plot for Christmas. It came with a coffin, tomb stone, the works. Next Christmas comes by and the husband gets her nothing. When the mother-in-law asks, "Why didn't you get me a gift?" the husband says, "You haven't used the one I got you last year!"
- Joined
- Feb 1, 2015
- Messages
- 9,621
I go up north fishing with a bunch of old friends every Spring. We have a fairly large collection of jokes so we just assigned a number to each. Now, in the evening hours someone will shout out "number 46" and everyone laughs. It saves time and leaves more time for beer.
- Joined
- Nov 23, 2013
- Messages
- 593
There was a competition on one of the late night shows several years ago between two people texting a message and two ham radio operators using Morse code to send a message. The radio operators won.
- Joined
- Aug 22, 2012
- Messages
- 4,121
I was at one of those do's and had a go at shouting out one of those numbers but no one laughed.
So I tried another, still no one laughed.
I asked RJ why no one was laughing and he said
"You dont tell em right"
so I said "Give me another go"
I shouted out "437" and they all totally cracked up.
It seems they hadnt heard that one before.
- Joined
- Nov 19, 2014
- Messages
- 991
A mechanical engineer, an electrical engineer, and a civil engineer were lounging on the beach sharing a bottle of wine and discussing God.
The mechanical engineer said, "God is a mechanical engineer, all you have to do is look at the human body, the skeleton is the structure, the muscles are the actuators, the joints and ligaments are pivot points, and the tendons are the connecting rods, definitely a mechanical engineer."
The electrical engineer called BS on that, "God is an electrical engineer", he proclaimed, "It all works because of the synapses firing in the brain, sending electrical impulses through the nervous system to the muscles, and the propreaceptors sending spatial information back to the brain, and it all malfunctions when the electrolytes get messed up, only an electrical engineer could have designed something like this."
The civil engineer took a swig of wine and proclaimed, "You're both wrong, God is a civil engineer". The other two engineers disagreed, but he continued, "Who, but a civil engineer, would put a wastewater discharge site right in the middle of a recreational area." NUFF SAID.
The mechanical engineer said, "God is a mechanical engineer, all you have to do is look at the human body, the skeleton is the structure, the muscles are the actuators, the joints and ligaments are pivot points, and the tendons are the connecting rods, definitely a mechanical engineer."
The electrical engineer called BS on that, "God is an electrical engineer", he proclaimed, "It all works because of the synapses firing in the brain, sending electrical impulses through the nervous system to the muscles, and the propreaceptors sending spatial information back to the brain, and it all malfunctions when the electrolytes get messed up, only an electrical engineer could have designed something like this."
The civil engineer took a swig of wine and proclaimed, "You're both wrong, God is a civil engineer". The other two engineers disagreed, but he continued, "Who, but a civil engineer, would put a wastewater discharge site right in the middle of a recreational area." NUFF SAID.
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