2020 Archive

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Marv in Minn said:
The Importance Of An Occupation. . .
As we get older we sometimes begin to doubt our ability to "Make a difference" in the world.
It is at these times that our hopes are boosted by the remarkable achievements of other "Seniors" who have found the courage to take on challenges that would make many of us wither.
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Some years ago, I was working in the "South Pacific". Computers. The area is actually north of the equator by a couple of degrees but is referred to as the South. Involved in, literally, the start up of a new country. A small country, but it was done without the "force of arms". There was no shooting, no protests, no bad feelings. The vice president, later the president, told me over a drink one evening that what I was doing might only be worth a penny (my comment), but if one only had 99 cents that penny made a dollar.

Having helped in the startup of a sovereign republic, what do I do now? What next to better that last project? There were a few things on my "to do" list, but they have been disabled. I wanted to ride a motorcycle up the Alaska Highway, but by the time I got around to it, the road had been paved. Things of that nature. . . So essentially all that's left is sitting on the front porch drinking the proverbial beer. I've left my mark on the world. A small mark, but a mark none the less.

Bill Hudson​
 
  • Logic from uncluttered minds


A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, 'When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah'.
The teacher asked, 'What if Jonah went to hell?'
The little girl replied, 'Then you ask him'.




A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, 'I'm drawing God.'
The teacher paused and said, 'But no one knows what God looks like.'
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, 'They will in a minute.'




A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six-year-olds.
After explaining the commandment to 'honour' thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, 'Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?'
From the back, one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, 'Thou shall not kill.'

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, 'Why are some of your hairs white, Mum?'
Her mother replied, 'Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.'
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, 'Mummy, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?'


The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade each of them to buy a copy of the group picture. 'Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, he's a doctor.'
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, 'And there's the teacher, she's dead.'


A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, 'Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.'
'Yes,' the class said.
'Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?'
A little fellow shouted, 'Cause your feet ain't empty.'


The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note and posted on the apple tray: 'Take only ONE. God is watching.'
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, 'Take all you want. God is watching the apples....'
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An email from a friend:


From: Russell
Sent: Monday, September 14, 2020 9:40 PM
Subject: Fw: Fwd: Covid Vaccine

I'm sure this will shock some of you but thought I would let you all know,
that yesterday I volunteered for the vaccine trials for Covid-19, held here
in the central Florida area. The vaccine is one that was created in Russia.

I received my first shot yesterday at 4:00 pm, and I wanted to let you all
know that it’s completely safe, with иo side effects whatsoeveя, and that I
feelshκι χoρoshό я чувствую себя немного странно и я думаю, что вытащил
ослиные уши.
 
38super said:
An email from a friend:


From: Russell
Sent: Monday, September 14, 2020 9:40 PM
Subject: Fw: Fwd: Covid Vaccine

I'm sure this will shock some of you but thought I would let you all know,
that yesterday I volunteered for the vaccine trials for Covid-19, held here
in the central Florida area. The vaccine is one that was created in Russia.

I received my first shot yesterday at 4:00 pm, and I wanted to let you all
know that it’s completely safe, with иo side effects whatsoeveя, and that I
feelshκι χoρoshό я чувствую себя немного странно и я думаю, что вытащил
ослиные уши.
Click to expand...

So... where is the rest of the donkey?

-Bear
 
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