2022

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I saw this advert in a window that said: ‘Television for sale, $5, volume stuck on full.’ I thought, ‘I can’t turn that down.'”

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said ‘Parking Fine.’ So that was nice.”
 
Doug Gray said:
Why just yesterday....

I was having sex in a public pool, while drunk, stoned and smoking a stogie. I kissed my girl because we are in love, even though she has broken my heart. I got caught peeing in the pool and had a fist fight with the cops when they arrested me. I did manage to steal his gun, but now I'm crying.

Hundred points in twenty minutes..... just saying
Click to expand...
Extra points if you peed in the pool like this:
 
But just ONE of them could be the next telegraph or radio......
Edison said he hadn't failed all those times he didn't succeed at creating the light bulb he learned.
Sorry forgot this was the joke page...
 
The Health Department has just cancelled our village fete, apparently theres been an outbreak of Tombola.

I met my wife on the net. We were both rubbish trapeze artists.

A girl once told me she could tell what kind of personality I had by the car I drive.
I told her I didnt have one.
 
Doug Gray said:
Why just yesterday....

I was having sex in a public pool, while drunk, stoned and smoking a stogie. I kissed my girl because we are in love, even though she has broken my heart. I got caught peeing in the pool and had a fist fight with the cops when they arrested me. I did manage to steal his gun, but now I'm crying.

Hundred points in twenty minutes..... just saying
Click to expand...
emoji winner.jpg
 
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