2021 Archive

[savarin]

I saw an vacancy for a python programmer.
I didnt go for it because I hate snakes.

 

[savarin]

We were having breakfast with a couple of friends the other day.
One of then said to his wife "Pass the sugar sugar"
The other one said "Pass the honey honey"
I thought that was cute so I looked at my empty cup and said to my wife "Pass the tea bag"
I cant understand why she isnt talking to me.

 

[Braeden P]

the lathe was a real turning point
the lathe created a revolution
I can chuck up more lathe jokes
did you hear about the guy that applied for a job running a lathe?
They turned him down.
why did the guy go to an all female tec school for machining?
he wanted to get lathed

 

[Braeden P]

the fight is on sarvin

 

[savarin]

Removing the middle of the large steel flange I'm making is really boring.

 

[Braeden P]

the operation after drilling is boring

 

[savarin]

I tried to sell my talking dog down the pub last week.
To demonstrate his prowess with the English language I asked him some questions.
Me - What does sandpaper feel like?
Dog - Ruff
Me - How do you feel when you have flu?
Dog - Ruff
Me - Whats on the top of that house?
Dog - Roof
After we got thrown out my dog turned to me and said "Do you think I should have said corrugated Iron"

 

[Braeden P]

today a man asked me for a small donation for the local swimming pool so I gave him a glass of water

 

[Braeden P]

when I told my doctor my loss of memory he made me pay in advance

 

[Braeden P]

Only a genius can say these four words out loud four times without stuttering:
Eye, Yam, Stew, Peed.
Congratulations, you are now a genius.