What the is wrong with the world today? We are constantly bombarded with posters, messages, warnings, TV adverts and other useless information from stupid idiots polishing their fat backsides in government sponsored offices, whilst sitting on comfy safety approved, back supporting, non tipping chairs, dreaming up more ways to protect idiotic morons from their own stupidity thus allowing them to spread their defective genes further abroad in society.
They mean absolutely diddly squat to those of us with more than two neurons to rub together and do sweet nothing to aid us in our everyday lives, in fact they just confuse the hell out of most of us.
I m getting totally cheesed off with all the unadulterated bulldust we have to put up with that I just have climb onto my soapbox to vent a little to make myself feel better.
Theres been a few things of late that I feel are completely over the top and beyond the pale.
I dont know what its like in the US of A but Australia is I believe the capital of the world in the allergy stakes.
It seems that every man and his dog is allergic to something today and every item you purchase has a gigantic list of "possible" allergens.
The best one is the allergen advice on every bottle of milk
"Warning" - "Contains Milk". WOW! who would have known? What moron decided that the giant letters on the front of the bottle stating "MILK" that can be seen from 25 paces away required a 2mm (thats 0.07873992 inches for the metrically challenged) high label on the back warning everyone that the bottle contains milk. I'm so relieved I found that out in case I served it to a lactose intolerant person in their tea and sent them to hospital.
All my fruit has a sticker on it telling me what it is as if I didnt have a damn clue what on earth I was purchasing.
I need a lemon for my gin and tonic but unfortunately I'm a clueless moron, I have no idea of what a lemon looks like, I had better look at all these tiny stupid labels on all these different fruits to make sure I get a lemon and not a jack-fruit.
Give me a break please!
And to add insult to injury all these highly informative but utterly useless stickers are so small I need a damn microscope to actually read the useless stupid things in the first place, as if I carried one of those around when I go shopping. (theres probably a law preventing it anyway) If I didnt know what the fruit was in the first place or even what it damn well looked like why the hell would I want to purchase it.
And then just to really stir the pot the non dissolving space age adhesive holding this useless microscopic information sheet to the fruit allowed the paper to be peeled off but remained behind as a sticky patch to taint my awesomely refreshing gin and tonic.
And then theres "Best before" dates.
I just bought a packet of rock salt-evaporated sea salt, Eh? What? Which one is it?
Its either rock salt or sea salt, make your mind up.
Whats the difference between the two you may well ask?
Absolutely NOTHING.
If its white its pure, if it has any other colour then it has other stuff in it such as iron, calcium, bacteria or algae.
In point of fact its all sea salt, or it was once upon a time millions of years ago.
And, to add insult to injury it had a best before date on the plastic packet.
WHAT THE ?????? its salt, it wont go off in a million years, the everlasting, unopenable, undegradable, UV resistant plastic packet will rot down and convert back to oil before any thing happens to the salt.
Rock salt was laid down millions of years ago, its a Devonian age fossil, its older than your granny and T rex combined, it preserves stuff and prevents what its mixed with from going bad, people have been using it for thousands of years to preserve their foods and never needed a best before sticker.
I can understand this for foods that are perishable just in case they go off and it doesnt show, it may prevent the odd case of food poisoning but people, do we really need a best before date on a packet of salt?
It seems we do.
Gee, I feel better now.
