Today's Joke - 2023 Mega Thread

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A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door..

In a panic she told her lover "Hurry, stand in the corner. Don't move until I tell you to. Just shut your eyes and pretend you're a statue."

At the moment her husband walked into the room. "What's this, honey?" he asked.

"Oh, it's just a statue," she replied nonchalantly. "The Smiths bought one for their bedroom. I liked it so much, I got one for us too."

They went to sleep and then around three o'clock in the morning the husband got out of bed, went to the kitchen and came back with a sandwich and a glass of milk.

"Here," he said to the statue, "eat something. I stood like an idiot at the Smiths' for three days and nobody offered me so much as a glass of water
 
How about 4 on the tree like old Mercedes?View attachment 448151
Not a big deal, learned to drive in one like that, a 59 Ford driver ed car.
Then a 55 Dodge w/1 stick on the dash.
Then a 56 Dodge Coronet Lancer 2 dr hdtp D-500 with push button powerflite (still wish I had that gem!)
Then a Cat D8 2U for Uncle Sam

Then....
15 on the floor w/two sticks
And
18 on the floor after that for over 40 years.
 
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