Today's Joke - 2023 Mega Thread

[pontiac428]

 

[BGHansen]

My dad was known for a few sayings also.

"It takes more of a man to not swear than to swear"
"In a dispute, always try to leave the other person an out with respect"
"Results count, not alibis (boy, did he preach that one to me A LOT)"
"When scrubbing out your toilets, always remember to keep your mouth closed"

Bruce

 

[RJSakowski]

One of my dad's was a "legacy" joke from his dad.

My grandfather told my dad that the worst thing about hunting was having 2 cups of coffee in the morning, getting his hunting pants on, then having to try to pull a 2" 'member' out of 3" of clothing.

My dad added to it: "I fortunately NEVER have to worry about fishing a 2" 'member' out of 3" of clothing. I wear 1" of clothing.

Bruce

We always used a string. Gotta be thankful for Thinsulate.

 

[higgite]

We always used a string. Gotta be thankful for Thinsulate.

Famous line from George on Seinfeld... "Shrinkage! It's shrinkage!"

Tom

 

[RJSakowski]

Famous line from George on Seinfeld... "Shrinkage! It's shrinkage!"

Tom

That's definitely the case for ice fishing. Temperature 10ºF, wind 20 mph, wet hands, priceless.

 

[WobblyHand]

View attachment 432024View attachment 432023

When you take out the blue wrench, you aren't fooling around anymore... Had to use it more than I would have liked on my car. The Northeast is hard on cars.

 

[pontiac428]

I love Venn diagrams...

 

[Just for fun]

If a milk Cow fails to produce Milk, is it an utter failure or a Milk Dud?

Kind of screwed that up..... Corrected my mistake.

 

[tjb]

If a milk fails to produce Milk, is it an utter failure or a Milk Dud?

Yes.

 

[Ken from ontario]