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Today's Joke - 2023 Mega Thread
- Thread starter vtcnc
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- today's joke
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Recently, I was diagnosed with A. A. A. D. D. – Age-Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.
This is how it manifests itself: I decide to water my garden.
As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide my car needs washing.
As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mail box earlier.
I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car. I lay my car keys down on the table,
put the junk mail in the trash bin under the table, and notice that the bin is full.
So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the trash first.
But then I think, since I’m going to be near the mailbox when I take out the garbage anyway,
I may as well pay the bills first. I take my checkbook off the table, and see that there is only one check left.
My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Coke that I had been drinking.
I’m going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I don’t accidentally knock it over.
I see that the Coke is getting warm, and I decide I should put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.
As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye:
They need to be watered. I place the Coke down on the work surface, and I discover my reading glasses
that I’ve been searching for all morning. I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I’m going to water the flowers.
I set the glasses back down on the work top, fill a container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote.
Someone has left it on the kitchen table. I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I will be looking for the remote,
but I won’t remember that it’s on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back where it belongs, but first I’ll water the flowers.
I pour some water in the flower vase, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor. So, I set the remote back down on the table,
get some towels and wipe up the spill. Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.
At the end of the day: The car isn’t washed. The bills aren’t paid. There is a warm can of Coke sitting on the work surface.
The flowers don’t have enough water. There is still only one check in my checkbook. I can’t find the TV remote.
I can’t find my glasses and I don’t remember what I did with the car keys. Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today.
I’m really baffled because I know I was busy all day long and I’m really tired. I realize this is a serious problem,
and I’ll try to get some help for it, but first I’ll check my email.
P.S. I just remembered I left the water running…
This is how it manifests itself: I decide to water my garden.
As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide my car needs washing.
As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mail box earlier.
I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car. I lay my car keys down on the table,
put the junk mail in the trash bin under the table, and notice that the bin is full.
So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the trash first.
But then I think, since I’m going to be near the mailbox when I take out the garbage anyway,
I may as well pay the bills first. I take my checkbook off the table, and see that there is only one check left.
My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Coke that I had been drinking.
I’m going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I don’t accidentally knock it over.
I see that the Coke is getting warm, and I decide I should put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.
As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye:
They need to be watered. I place the Coke down on the work surface, and I discover my reading glasses
that I’ve been searching for all morning. I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I’m going to water the flowers.
I set the glasses back down on the work top, fill a container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote.
Someone has left it on the kitchen table. I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I will be looking for the remote,
but I won’t remember that it’s on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back where it belongs, but first I’ll water the flowers.
I pour some water in the flower vase, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor. So, I set the remote back down on the table,
get some towels and wipe up the spill. Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.
At the end of the day: The car isn’t washed. The bills aren’t paid. There is a warm can of Coke sitting on the work surface.
The flowers don’t have enough water. There is still only one check in my checkbook. I can’t find the TV remote.
I can’t find my glasses and I don’t remember what I did with the car keys. Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today.
I’m really baffled because I know I was busy all day long and I’m really tired. I realize this is a serious problem,
and I’ll try to get some help for it, but first I’ll check my email.
P.S. I just remembered I left the water running…
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