My son died of a heroin overdose.

My condolences to you and family. This will a trying time and the pain is difficult to deal with. Family support Is important in these kind of events. Please don’t be afraid to reach out to friends and family.
Pierre
 
Erik:
So sorry for your loss. As others have posted, I cannot imagine the loss.
Your son died from a disease that is not well understood yet. Just like mental health, which still has a stigma about it.
But please keep this in mind Erik... YOU DID EVERYTHING YOU COULD. This is not your fault.
I have thought about you all day. Stay strong.
 
All of these comments have been truly helpful to me. I took some time off of work to deal with everything because I was crying too much at work.

There is a whole story behind the family member that gave Shane the money even though she had been warned so many times what could happen. At this point, I will just say that was my mother who gave him the $50, She has not yet owned up to the grievous error, and her and I have stopped speaking. It would be really helpful to me if she would just admit that it was a mistake to give him cash.

In any case, all is lost as far as Shane is concerned. I will miss him the rest of my life.
 
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Erik,
I'm sorry for your loss.
Shane's tribulations are past now.
I hope pleasant memories will smother your deep pain very soon.
 
Sorry for your loss, I can't think of anything harder than the loss of a child or spouse.
 
So sad and sorry to hear this. I can understand the pain and anger you are processing. I have found it best to just accept, then to beat yourself to death trying to understand why.

I have heard that same story so many times, I pretty much knew what the next sentence would be. Even with having watched several folks go down the path, I still find it hard to imagine how someone can have it so well, loose it all to drugs, and not be scared out the wazoo. The lifelong grip that drugs have, is unimaginable for the rest of us.

I have seen it a million times, Mothers, & Grand Mothers have a hard time saying no, Even when they know it is wrong. You have already lost a son, Do not write off your mother before she is gone. Her time is limited, Savor what you can. I know this is a hard thing to forgive, but please give it some thought. Maybe have a talk about your feelings (I can't believe I just wrote that, I am the type to keep everything bottled up. It cost me a relationship with my Father).

We will pray for you and your family.
 
erikmannie said:
I feel so sad to post this, but my 25 year old son Shane died two days ago of a heroin overdose. His body was discovered by his mother.

He had been clean for about 3 months, but an ill advised family member gave him $50 cash. All family members had been warned repeatedly about giving cash to somebody in such a fragile position. He immediately scored the drugs & took a fatal overdose. There were several indications that the overdose was unintentional.

I am so sad, and also angry at him for doing that. My relationship with the family member who gave him cash is also severely damaged because I was one of the people who reminded her about once every two weeks about how any heroin that he bought was certain to contain fentanyl, and it only takes a few times before one suffers a fentanyl overdose. I must have reminded her half a dozen times to never give him cash.

He leaves behind a 7 year old daughter.

I will never forget my sheer horror when I was told the news. Shane had just texted me one day earlier and told me that he was clean & sober.
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So sorry to read this. thank you for sharing. I have a good friend with a similar story. Only through sharing can we destigmatize this devastating Situation. So sorry for your loss.
 
Erik,
I am so sorry to for your loss. My prayers go out to you and yours. Please find it in your heart to forgive and cherish the ones you have left. I promise you will not regret it. I have lived what you are dealing with. It's hard to understand I know but now is the time to embrace what you have and not the loss or the blame.
21 years ago I lost my youngest son at 15. I had some of the same thoughts you are dealing with, that is why I am reaching out to you. If you want to talk, pm me and I'll give you my number.
Jay
 
Erik, I to am so sorry for your loss. My thoughts and Prayers go out to You and Your Family. You will never forget as you shouldn't, the good times. And i agree A parent should never have to bury a child. I have lost two sons and know your pain.
 
Update:

My wife, son & I drove up to Vancouver, WA for the funeral. This was a viewing rather than a service. Shane’s body was not in a coffin; he was on a bed with a quilt over him.

I had assumed that the “viewing room” would be off to the side, but the chairs were all in the room and facing the body. I found this to play out like a nightmare filled with very polite people.

So the family & friends sat silently in chairs, often becoming overwhelmed & going to the entryway to chat in small groups.

When I first saw my ex-wife, she threw up her arms and cried “I did everything I could. I don’t know what else I could have done to stop this”.

Speaking for myself, this event has shattered me so there is an opportunity to put the pieces that remain back together differently.

The only words that can describe this event are devastation and unbearable grief.

It is strange how the event has changed people.

I had not seen my 7 year old granddaughter in person for 2+ years. She is darling; she is taking this totally fine. She was actually happy to see 8 members of her Dad’s family come up. She wasn’t even bothered about Shane’s body; she just hugged him because she had not seen him in a year (due to his drug addiction).
 
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