Not A Good Day.

This really sucks. I understand somewhat what you are going through. I have been very ill with health problems lately and my significant other of sixteen years has decided to leave me also. We will get through these dark times. And I am fortunate to have friends who care and that makes me feel better. Hang in there.
 
I don't even know what to say to either of you. Be strong and remember you have friends here.
 
Im speachless, but still praying.

Sent from somewhere in East Texas Jake Parker
 
Having gone through a divorce and losing both parents within a month of each other, I can empathize. I know it's a small consolation, but knowing that your father is again at peace has to give some comfort.
As far as the separation goes, I can only say that, at least in my situation, things got better for me. Had I not gone through all of that trauma, I would not have met my current wife.
As you move past these trying times, I wish you well.

Bob
 
ogberi: I would not say that you are broken....more like windwhipped. You have a reasonably clear head, though a wounded heart and spirit. Your life path has been shifted, but you are looking in the forward direction and and not completely to the past. The way forward is currently obscured, but as the days go by and you make the changes you need to make, the way will become clearer.
If you were truly broken, you would have talked about giving up and not looking forward, not having any hope. It's definitely been a tough year on you.
 
I don't wonder why you post your current situation and many problems on this site----you know that we are all your caring friends and are concerned not just about your shop problems but also your personable concerns----there is a lot of strength in the comments of all our members and we all care about each other----we are all praying for your strength in dealing with all that life has heaped upon you and for God's help in getting through it and moving on steadfastly---we all know that later we will be back to just shop problems again---they are a little easier to help solve------Dave
 
Well said Mr. Smith. One day at a time as time heals all wounds. I wish you all nothing but the best.
 
Ogberi, I wish I knew your real name.

I can sense your hurt big time. You have had more "unfairness" than anyone should be subjected to. However it has happened, and how you go forward will determine how quickly you can build your life and be at peace again.

While I can't relate to having any family problems that would cause me any regret, 40 years ago my wife and I did have some marital issues. Bottom line we had to determine if we wanted to try and work it out, or take our separate ways. We decided we wanted to figure it out. Best decision we have ever made.

Now I I understand that this doesn't work out for everyone for whatever reason.

I noticed that there are various members on this thread that are sending you their prayers. I am not an Evangelist and don't want to violate any forum rules.

However I do have a very close friend that is a man of faith much more than I. We meet once a month to discuss things that often lead to various topics that religious leaders are dealing with in the 21st century.

He is a leader for some Men's groups that attempts to help men with all sorts of issues to deal with, and he gives spiritual as well as civil counselling.

I guess what I am saying is that depending on your faith and or depth of faith, there are other avenues to get some support.

Bottom line is that with the right support I feel you can get back on your feet, and look forward to a happy life again.

I send my prayers.

David
 
ogberi,

I just found this thread, and I know it's late, but I just had to respond.

I do understand why you are pouring your heart out here. Although I do NOT keep a regular journal or diary in times of stress I've always found writing things down helped me "process" them. Often they were just draft emails that were never sent to anyone.

ogberi said:
The timing is horrible. I lost my mother on June 25th, my father on August 10th, and now my wife. My world is shattered, and I can't even find words to describe how heavy this burden is. This divorce knocks out the last of the foundations I had.

I am not the same person I was at the beginning of June. I will not be the same person ever again, and I do not know how this will change me. I'm terrified.

I am broken. But not destroyed, not hopeless, and not giving up.
Click to expand...

You are hurting and rightly so, that is a lot to bear and in a very short time.
However, your strength is showing thru already.
It will be a journey, but you can get thru it.
It is obvious that many people here do truly care.

Feel free to PM me if you ever need to "talk".

-brino
 
The world rolls on. The sun rises, the sun sets, regardless of what happens to me. All I can do is smile, bear it, and struggle on.

The divorce is definite. We're splitting up our assets, dividing things, and getting it all divided in half. I should be able to afford to keep the house, though it will be rough. No new toys for a while.

What I can say, is that this whole mess, loosing my mom and dad in two months, loosing my wife of 12 years, and all that goes along with it....

I can take this. Bring it. I absolutely refuse to be broken. Hurt, yes. Staggering... I'm on my gut sucking wind, but I am not broken. At some point, I'll meet Murphy... And it'll be an ass beating that leaves the innocent bystanders bruised, broken, and bewildered. Murphy and I, we have some things to settle. And it won't be pretty. Murphy better call ahead for an ambulance, because he's gonna need one. I intend to show him the meaning of 'unfair.' With lots of brunt force trauma. A 10 lb sledge hammer will do for starters, and it'll get nastier from there. I got a brick in a sock with his name engraved in it, and I won't stop until it's firmly embossed in his forehead. Murphy, call your buddies, you're gonna need 'em.

This isn't what I want, but it's what we realize is best for the both of us. I'm not a hard person to make happy, I don't want that much out of life. But I'm not happy, and that is one of the issues. This whole mess is amicable, there's no lawyers, no mediators, nothing like that. We're going our own ways, which are separate. We still care about each other, but neither of us can go on like this.

For now, and for awhile, I'll simply be existing. I know my shop will be a refuge, somewhere I can go to chase zeroes and forget what I've lost.

I know I'll be happy again, eventually. Hopefully, this is my first, last, and only divorce.

Yeah, I'm depressed. I'll get over it. After all, life goes on.

Just don't expect me to be terribly happy about it for awhile. Take it or leave it, like it or hate it, this is how I feel. Writing it down and throwing it out amongst the other people in the world helps me to get my head straight, helps me to get it off my chest.

Mods, feel free to delete this if you want. I feel better no matter what. And, I promise I'll post some relevant material soon.
 
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