The world rolls on. The sun rises, the sun sets, regardless of what happens to me. All I can do is smile, bear it, and struggle on.
The divorce is definite. We're splitting up our assets, dividing things, and getting it all divided in half. I should be able to afford to keep the house, though it will be rough. No new toys for a while.
What I can say, is that this whole mess, loosing my mom and dad in two months, loosing my wife of 12 years, and all that goes along with it....
I can take this. Bring it. I absolutely refuse to be broken. Hurt, yes. Staggering... I'm on my gut sucking wind, but I am not broken. At some point, I'll meet Murphy... And it'll be an ass beating that leaves the innocent bystanders bruised, broken, and bewildered. Murphy and I, we have some things to settle. And it won't be pretty. Murphy better call ahead for an ambulance, because he's gonna need one. I intend to show him the meaning of 'unfair.' With lots of brunt force trauma. A 10 lb sledge hammer will do for starters, and it'll get nastier from there. I got a brick in a sock with his name engraved in it, and I won't stop until it's firmly embossed in his forehead. Murphy, call your buddies, you're gonna need 'em.
This isn't what I want, but it's what we realize is best for the both of us. I'm not a hard person to make happy, I don't want that much out of life. But I'm not happy, and that is one of the issues. This whole mess is amicable, there's no lawyers, no mediators, nothing like that. We're going our own ways, which are separate. We still care about each other, but neither of us can go on like this.
For now, and for awhile, I'll simply be existing. I know my shop will be a refuge, somewhere I can go to chase zeroes and forget what I've lost.
I know I'll be happy again, eventually. Hopefully, this is my first, last, and only divorce.
Yeah, I'm depressed. I'll get over it. After all, life goes on.
Just don't expect me to be terribly happy about it for awhile. Take it or leave it, like it or hate it, this is how I feel. Writing it down and throwing it out amongst the other people in the world helps me to get my head straight, helps me to get it off my chest.
Mods, feel free to delete this if you want. I feel better no matter what. And, I promise I'll post some relevant material soon.