2018 Archive

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Here are some alternatives. Not quite the same, but could work.

:surrender: :banned: :face slap: :finger wag:
 
A husband died. A few weeks later the wife died. As she got to heaven she saw her husband. She ran up to him with tears in her eyes.​
'Darling, how I've missed you!'​
The husband extends his arms stopping her from embracing him and says, 'Whoa there woman, the contract was until death!'​
 
Last Christmas, I got a set of golf clubs for my wife. Pretty good trade, huh?

Tom
 
In light of the rising frequency of human - grizzly bear conflicts, the Alaska Department of Fish and Game is advising hikers, hunters, and fishermen to take extra precautions and keep alert of bears while in the field. They advise that outdoorsmen wear noisy little bells on their clothing so as not to startle bears that aren't expecting them. They also advise outdoorsmen to carry pepper spray with them in case of an encounter with a bear. It is also a good idea to watch out for fresh signs of bear activity. Outdoorsmen should recognize the difference between black bear and grizzly bear dung. Black bear dung is smaller and contains lots of berries and squirrel fur. Grizzly bear dung has little bells in it and smells like pepper.​
 
THIS IS A FRIGHTENING STATISTIC ,
PROBABLY ONE OF THE MOST WORRISOME IN RECENT YEARS.

21% of the women in this country are on medication for mental illness.
That's scary. It means 79% are running around untreated...
 
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