2018 Archive

[savarin]

Before I tell my wife something important, I take both her hands in mine.
That way she can't hit me with them.

 

[savarin]

My wife just found out I replaced our bed with a trampoline; she hit the roof.

 

[savarin]

I just split up from my cross eyed girl friend.
We didn't see eye to eye.
I also found out she was seeing someone on the side.

 

[higgite]

Where is the groan button?! We desperately need a groan button! My kingdom for a groan button!

Tom

 

[jim18655]

I went to the liquor store Tuesday afternoon on my bicycle, bought a bottle of Wild Turkey and put it in the bicycle basket. As I was about to leave, I thought to myself that if I fell off the bicycle, the bottle would break so I drank all the Wild Turkey before I cycled home.


It turned out to be a very good decision, because I fell off my bicycle seven times on the way home

 

[RJSakowski]

Before I tell my wife something important, I take both her hands in mine.
That way she can't hit me with them.

As an extra precaution, I would stand on her toes too.

 

[savarin]

I bought one those new reversible jackets yesterday?
I'm excited to see how it turns out.

 

[savarin]

I was born to be a pessimist.
My blood type is B Negative.

 

[savarin]

Its been discovered that women have cleaner minds than men.
Mainly because they change them more often.

 

[savarin]

My mother in law has been staring through the window ever since it started to snow.
If it gets any worse I'll have to let her in.