2018 Archive

[Ken from ontario]

Just you think you've seen everything:

 

[RandyM]

Once two blondes and a brunette got stuck in the elevator.

One blonde starts to shout:
- Help!!!

Then the other one:
- Help!!!

The brunette:
- Girls, shout together, it will be louder.

The blondes shout:
- Together!!! Together!!!...

 

[2volts]

A man came home from work, put the TV on, sat down in his favourite armchair and said to his wife:
"Quick, bring me a beer before it starts!"
The wife was a little amazed but brought out a beer.

After drinking the beer, man said:
"Quick, bring me another beer! It will start soon!"
This time the wife looked irritated but got him a second beer.

After the man drank the second beer he said:
"Quick, bring me a third before it starts!"

The wife shouted "That's enough! You walk into the house like if you own the whole world, flop down into your armchair, don't even say hello and think you can treat me like a slave! Don't you understand I cook, clean, wash and iron and look after the household all day long!"

The man took a deep breath and said: "Uh oh, now it’s started!”

 

[PHPaul]

Do you know why a duck has feathers?
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To cover its quack.

Can't believe I made it to 67 years old and never heard that one before.

 

[brino]

........and do you know what side of that duck statistically has the most feathers?
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The Outside!

 

[Bill Gruby]

I could have gotten to 72, but that ain't gonna happen now. (GROAN)

"Billy G"

 

[higgite]

For PHPaul's further duckological education :

Know why ducks fly south for the winter?
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Because it's too far to walk.

(NOW you can groan.)

Tom

 

[PHPaul]

When geese fly South for the Winter (they're not much for walking either apparently) they fly in a vee formation.

One side of the vee is always longer than the other.

You know why that is?
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There's more geese on that side.

(Hey, YOU started it! )

 

[Bill Gruby]

As my Granpappy would say,"Roll up your pant legs, it's too late to save your shoes."

"Billy G"

 

[savarin]