Awesome Practical Joke

All right...I've seen a lot, but of the not really malicious ones we do here in the oilfield, here's my favorite three, in no particular order.


Newby joke #1: Tell the new guy that in this shop there is a special aptitude test given to all guys (works best on young, inexperienced hands). The distance between the eyebrows tells all. Then hold your 6" flex-scale up between his brows, say hmmm...and then pull one end of it back and smack him on the forehead....and tell him he failed the test when everyone stops laughing. Better in a crowd. If you really don't like the guy, and think you can take him in a fight, use a 12". It's going to leave a mark.


Newby joke #2: Borrow a 0-1" mike or pair of cowlippers from him. An hour later walk towards him, thanking him and toss the old junkers you have kept for just this reason, and watch his face as he panics and tries to catch them. Works best with a poorly aimed toss.


Joke #3: Remember chads from paper tape punch machines? Once the caddy gets full, catch some nice, hopefully new Kennedy felt lined box open and dump them in. Nearly impossible to get them all out. Just need to warn the programmers (if you like them) that they will be the revenge target, which is another game altogether!
 
I did a few days maintenance work in a place where the foreman really was an insufferable obnoxious jerk in so many ways, and he didn't sit with them at breaks but stayed in the shop where he made his own tea and sat clock watching.

I asked one chap how they could put up with him day after day, he said it wasn't so bad since they started taking turns to p*** in his kettle!!
 
I was in the Navy and my buddy took off my spark plug wires on my bike and laid them next to the plugs. I got revenge when I took off his windshield wiper blades and placed them in the back seat of his car. My bike was never messed with again and I wish I could have heard the sound of the arms scrapping on his windshield.

I worked on electronic countermeasures there, if someone was playing a TV or radio I would connect a metal coat hanger to my gazillion dollar automated signal test generator and amplifier combo, and "make sure it was all working within spec"
 
Back when I was young and stupid (I'm not young anymore) we had a kid working at the plant on work release from a local prison. On his birthday some of the ladies decided to bake him a cake. So like anybody would do, I stuck a file into the cake. When they cut the cake and pulled out a file almost everyone, including the kid, thought it was funny. A couple of the "ladies" didn't see the humor in this and complained to the owner which got me 3 days off without pay, or was supposed to anyway. I packed up my tools and headed out telling the boss to stick the job. Well it took the boss about a day to realize that toolmakers don't grow on trees and came begging me to return. I did, on my terms.

John
 
Something we do to make the day go by is we will take a zip-lock baggie and fill it with oxy-acetylene mix from the torch set, seal it and then toss it under a table where someone was welding. The more gas in the bag the better. Or we will paint the inner plastic lens of a welding shield with black paint and stick it back in. :roflmao:
 
Cholmes said:
Something we do to make the day go by is we will take a zip-lock baggie and fill it with oxy-acetylene mix from the torch set, seal it and then toss it under a table where someone was welding. The more gas in the bag the better. Or we will paint the inner plastic lens of a welding shield with black paint and stick it back in. :roflmao:
Click to expand...

Do the same with the smaller plastic bottles that Washer Fluid concentrate came in and insert a spark plug wire, tape it closed and close the hood of the car/truck, and wait for the car jockey to come move the car out of the repair bay.
 
Years ago I worked in a small shop where we would all chip in for a pizza every Friday. The manager would never chip in, but always came by later looking to mooch a left over piece. We got tired of his cheapness so when one of the guys went to pick up the pizza, he swiped one of the hot pepper dispensers from a table on his way out. After we all had lunch the last piece was cool enough to peel the top layer of cheese back and coat the piece with hot pepper, then lay the cheese back over it. The manager came in, mooched the last piece, took two bites and left in a hurry. He never tried to mooch any food after that.
 
years ago our foreman left his lottery ticket out before the numbers were called..i wrote down his numbers....he didn't know i had the #s..after they were to be called we said these were the numbers and how we lost ect ect......15 minutes later he was nowhere to be seen...we called the gate and they said he left....next couple weeks he didn't talk to anyone
 
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