Mothering my mother

My dad is depressed as well recently. 90 years old. See the end of the track coming and mom was the driving force to keep him moving. Now she has been gone since 2013 and we cannot get him to have interest in much. He is on autopilot.
Pierre
 
My friends uncle was 113 yo, and still very much with it. My friend made a big deal once about how old he was, and how good he is doing, etc. The uncle told him, "boy being this old is not fun, all my friends are dead, and I don't get to do the things that I like anymore".
We're here for you....
 
Aukai said:
My friends uncle was 113 yo, and still very much with it. My friend made a big deal once about how old he was, and how good he is doing, etc. The uncle told him, "boy being this old is not fun, all my friends are dead, and I don't get to do the things that I like anymore".
We're here for you....
Click to expand...
My wife's grandmother lived to be 99.5 yo. She out lived 2 husbands and out of 11 children, she outlived all but two, all of her siblings and too many of her family. She was an amazing women who was a real life Rosey the Riveter in the Liberty shipyards in Oakland California during the war. Grew up in a share cropper family in Arkansas and Oklahoma. Also had 10 siblings that lived in a one room, dirt floor cabin and road a mule to school.

She was an amazing women and I loved her to death. But she confided in me that she was very tired and more over tired of outliving all of her family and friends.

Sometimes, we want them to stay around forever, not for them, but for us. We often forget what they have and are going through. Not saying that is the case here, but your post got me thinking about Granny. I miss her very much and hope she is young, healthy and with all her loved ones now.
 
Jeff, have them check her for a urinary tract infection. My mother-in-law who is only in her 70s was having some issues and turns out that it was all caused by a UTI. It can cause some of the same symptoms that it sounds like your mom is having.
 
pdentrem said:
My dad is depressed as well recently. 90 years old. See the end of the track coming and mom was the driving force to keep him moving. Now she has been gone since 2013 and we cannot get him to have interest in much. He is on autopilot.
Pierre
Click to expand...
Pdentrem,
”Failure to thrive”, is a term I have become aware of. “A time to discuss end of life options to prevent needless intervention that may prolong suffering “.

Mom is much better today. The PT came in, my wife got her dressed and helped with makeup and hair.
She is in a much better place mentally.
She said, I wanted to die yesterday but wants to try to get stronger today. Hurrah!!
We will see what tomorrow brings.
 
There will be good days and bad, but each one is precious.
 
Janderso said:
She is in a much better place mentally.
She said, I wanted to die yesterday but wants to try to get stronger today. Hurrah!!
Click to expand...

.......another tear, but this one with a smile!

Brian
 
:encourage: Another friend of mine had the whole family from abroad home as his mother was terminal, and not expected to go on for too much longer. In the late afternoon Mom got on her good clothes, put flowers in her hair, and announced that it was going to be soon. the family gathered to pay respects, she wanted to take a nap and be left alone in her bedroom, the family was gathered in the living room for an hour or so, and mom comes down the hall, back in her normal house clothes, and exclaimed "I don't think it's going to be now, I'm hungry" LOL.....
 
It’s not just limited to the elderly, in the last 3 months, my wife has gone from working 40-50 hrs a week, to being basically bed ridden. While the cancer has been physically disabling, the mental though of a second bout of a more severe form of cancer has basically taken the wind completely out of her sails. We have been helping take care of my wife’s mom, now I’ve gone to caring for the wife.

when your growing up, the thought of caring for your parents is a distant thought in the back of your mind, but caring for a child or partner is almost unthinkable. My respect and sympathy goes out to everyone, who cares for their love ones.
 
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